The TARDIS Room: Of course Portland has a Doctor Who-themed bar…
Supposedly Dr. Who can travel through time, though it’s a mystery why he never warned Churchill about Hitler, or David Tennant about ignoring orthodontia. To right the wrong… of sobriety and hunger!… step into The TARDIS Room.
Built by an ex-pat Brit, TARDIS was conceived when he realized the door to the loo in his Fish and Chip shop looked like a police call box, and that the huge amount of possibly physics-defying storage in the back of the resto would be better used as a place where Whovians could sip beers and talk about proper scarf-wrapping technique. Get to a psychedelic time tunnel and check out:
The Space: Hit the front room/ performance space with a bathroom door made to look exactly like a TARDIS, then continue into a rambling series of black-painted rooms leading to a hidden pub. Check out the moving solar system light fixture, life-sized cardboard cut-outs of Who characters, a light-up Dalek clock, and a free-play pool table that you can enjoy while listening to Who sound effects randomized into the mood music, which hopefully won’t want to make you EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
The Drink and Grub: Improve your ability to shout opinions about how awesome Christopher Eccleston was by sipping drafts like Boddingtons, or cracking 75 bottled suds including Great Divide Titan IPA, and 22s like Oakshire’s O’Dark. Then, line your stomach with serious Brit grub including deep-fried sausage-wrapped hard boiled eggs, fish & chips w/ TARDIS sauce (it’s blue!), plus the TARDIS burger with housemade patties topped with bacon and blue cheese, who’s that way because no one wants to hear lounge renditions of Nine Inch Nails songs anymore.
And if by now you haven’t gotten enough Who to last 30 lifetimes, you definitely live in Portland, and will be excited about costume nights, and a full liquor license that will see the pouring of potent Sonic Screwdrivers — amazing tools that could still never straighten up Tennant’s jacked-up grill.